Navigation: Halfway

If all goes to plan then we’re already halfway through our Singapore journey. Disbelief when I think about all the ins and outs of everything so far. Strange satisfaction. The emotional rollercoaster hasn’t been fun - lessons in the past two weeks have been particularly steep (for me anyway), though I do appreciate the learnings with every turn and curve. Really great character building heh heh.

To help break it down a bit, perhaps a super succinct preface of myself might help: I am a Generation Y, single, fledging design academic… Tell me in which part of that caregiving experience comes in. Not a thing. The extent of my caregiving qualification is dates with my eleven year old niece, which are beautifully romanticised bubbles of two way adoration (hi Mia I miss you). I love helping people, so much. Life purpose status. But until now it’s always been in a way I’m familiar with, in my schedule.

Enter, Becks as an outpatient. You already know what’s coming haha. The first two days were a full blown shock to the system, for both of us (in our own ways). Looking out for my sister in the ways required on this trip are not natural for me. Had to switch up love languages real quick. Navigation seems to be the best term for what has unravelled since, and because I love lists that’s how I’ve tried to organise the chaos. What rest period?

  • Physical navigation - working out which ways the apartment does/doesn’t work for Becks (height/spacing of things etc), everyday tasks without nurses and learning and accepting where and when I’m needed, tackling the train and weaving our way between elevators and platforms, physio sessions, trying (and mostly failing) to get enough rest to be the support I’m here to be,
  • Social navigation - agreeing how to spend our days when our recharge strategies are on opposite ends of the scale: Becks a full blown extrovert feeding off contact with others and being out and about, myself a happy hermit when there is lots going on and needing time alone to be a nice human (more on this one in another post, it’s been a biggie),
  • Emotional navigation - supporting Becks in her emotional preparation for 21 days in isolation, helping her feel at home in a foreign country during a time of vulnerability, adjusting to the sudden change of lifestyle, cutting myself some slack when I feel like I’m in over my head,
  • Spiritual navigation - trusting God in all the challenges and frustrations and thanking him for everything through good and bad, remembering that he paved the way for us to get here and will see us through, knowing the opportunity this is to grow deeper in our relationship with him.

Lengthy post but there ya go. I’ve said this before, but I’d still rather be here than anywhere else. It’s a special time and a privilege to be on this journey with my sister. The ups outweigh the downs any day.

Real love always has a concurrent action, a positive manifestation, and a hopeful outcome
— Kris Vallotton